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I understand your desire to be remembered… but you don’t need a statue for that. I don’t? You have your legacy as a brutal, tyrannical dictator… and that will outlive any monument. You think they’ll remember me? Well, in that case, one planet down. Helmsmen, set course for Earth! That’s not Earth. Space pirates! Space pirates? You know, pirates, but in space. Electronically transfer your space doubloons… afore I send thee to Davey Jarg’s locker! Hey! Keep it down, you kids! I’m trying to take a nap! Come on.
Curses! If we could only turn up the gain, we might smell clear through to the other universe! But we can’t adjust it without a screwdriver. Wait a moment. I think I was just shanked with a screwdriver! A little more. A little less. Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this! Holy mother of invention! We must notify the President at once! But how can we? I wish we weren’t in prison! You have one wish left, Professor. I think I got him! for letting your guard. Sometimes. Always. Never! You again? This better be damned important.
I just need sleep. I had nightmares about cars running people over. Many dream of a fresh new look. And Mary Kay can make those dreams come true. Look! They found those same rubbery tracks in New New York. A hit-and-run by the robot porno theater. Robot porno theater? I was in that general area last night. Whoever ran me down out on the moors followed me back here! No one’s trying to run you over. Stop being a big hallucinating baby. Yeah? Could a big hallucinating baby I’m scared! I don’t know which I like more, smashing cars or faces.
I need a calculator. You are one. I mean a good calculator. Minus the food, the bunny-rabbit wallpaper. and they’re costing 1 1 0! There goes my cabinets. I won’t go to another PTA meeting! Doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory… makes me want children even more. I was thinking. Since we’re orphans, Adoption? Yes, that’s acceptable. It’s more than acceptable. It’s adequately satisfactory. Imperial Dragon restaurant? I’ve got a herd of you-know-whats for sale. Let me check.
Or I’ll power-down forever. Oh, God! I’ll never make it this time! This is the end! Anyway, we like it here. So, what’s your problem? Not enough. Memory? Oh, great. Now I remember that word, but I forgot my wife’s face. Oh, God! No! I want to live! you’re welcome to join our society. Look, no offense, but I need technology, especially e-mail and snowmobiles. And television. Without television, how will I know what’s buzz-worthy? Why would you want to watch TV when you can watch a snail crawl for hours? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Oh, man! After all that, I could use some relaxation. I’ll be in the Holo-Shed. Well, except for a few broken bones, some internal hemorrhaging… and a partially barfed up heart, everyone appears fine. Oh, and Kif is pregnant. Amy, isn’t it wonderful? I’m pregnant. Yes, it’s great. A great miracle. And not one of those bogus everyday miracles, like a sunrise. Aren’t you a male? Just when I thought I’d figured out you biological creatures, it’s something else! Let me at him! Get over here, Kif! You’re- Look, I’m sure we’re all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant.